


Everything You Read On The Internet Is 100% True

by eeyore9990



Series: Mating Games Weekly Entries [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Has Issues, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Magical Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1837837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is either cursed or blessed.  It all depends on how you look at it.  He's choosing to see the silver lining, once he gets over the shock of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Read On The Internet Is 100% True

**Author's Note:**

> My final Mating Games fic of 2014. Team Alpha, we were the best. I don't care WHAT the points showed!

A harsh laugh, lightning, and a thunderclap accompanied the witch's exit from the Preserve. Stiles had just enough time to roll his eyes at the cheesy dramatics before he fell shrieking to the ground, body curling tight in an attempt to ward off the melting, searing agony that was twisting through him, leaving no piece of him untouched.

And then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the pain was gone.

Still shaking, Stiles scrubbed tears from his cheeks and rolled over, looking up into the concerned faces of his friends. "H-hey, guys," he said, voice high and breathy, all that screaming ruining his vocal chords.

"Stiles, are you okay?" Scott slurred around a mouthful of pointy teeth.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." Stiles gently patted himself down. "It just felt… OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Scrambling to his feet, Stiles looked down in shock.

He had tits. And, okay, he'd been told that his nipples were delightfully plump by a drag queen once, but now? Now they were _tits_. Not huge, by any stretch of the imagination, but they were at least the same size as Cora's. 

Whipping his shirt off over his head, he pointed his chest at Scott. "Do you see my tits?"

Scott smacked his hand to his eyes and, sounding horribly scandalized, shouted, "Stiles, what the fuck? You can't just—"

But Stiles' panicked shout drowned him out. "Oh my GOD, my dick is gone!"

A muffled giggle made Stiles glare at Kira, whose face flushed red as she bit her lip and smiled apologetically at him. That was when Stiles _remembered_.

His jeans joined his shirt on the ground, and he was half-out of his boxers when Isaac shouted, "Hey, man! What the fuck are you doing?"

"Someone," Stiles huffed in frustration as his foot got trapped in the slit in his boxers, "needs to fuck me. Right now."

"Oh my god, Stiles." Scott peeked through his fingers before spinning around. "What the hell? Why…?"

"There are _rules_ to this shit, Scott!" Stiles snapped, hands on his newly-widened hips as he stood naked in front of the _entire fucking pack_. "We've read enough fanfiction to know that! Oh, don't even try," he added when Scott stiffened. "I know you read every fucking link I send you."

"So… let's pretend the rest of us _haven't_ read fanfiction." Derek's voice was still growly. "What does that mean? Why are you naked?"

"It means magic has a time limit, Derek! And if you fuckers make me miss out on multiple orgasms because of your delicate sensibilities, I will shoot every single one of you. With wolfsbane bullets!"

"No one's having sex with you, Stiles!" Scott shouted at the same time Derek said, "Okay."

"Wait… what?" Stiles' mouth dropped open in shock.

Derek shrugged. "I'll do it. I mean, knowing you, you'll just run through town offering yourself to every person you see until someone takes you up on it _anyway_. It's safer if it's one of us."

Stiles narrowed his eyes. "You wanna have sex with _me_?"

"Look, there's a possibility that there'll be a side effect to it, right? Maybe it'll turn you back or maybe it'll kill the person you have sex with. And if that's the case…"

"Are you seriously turning this into some fucked up way to sacrifice yourself for the good of the pack?" Flailing made Stiles' boobs jiggle in interesting ways, he couldn't help noting. Hell, even _Isaac_ was watching them bounce, and dude _hated_ Stiles. 

"Do you care?" 

Stiles dragged a hand down his face. "We are _so_ getting you therapy."

"Right now?"

"No, idiot. _After_ you introduce me to multiple orgasms." Stiles threw himself bridal-style at Derek. 

Thankfully, Derek caught him.

"So, big boy." Stiles fluttered his lashes. "Your place or mine?" Very deliberately, he rubbed his naked tits against Derek's chest, delighting in the zing of pleasure that shot to his groin.

"Could you at least put some clothes back on first?" Scott whined, red all the way up to his hairline. "And Jesus, Stiles, not _here_."

"Definitely not here." Lydia wrinkled her nose. "You do _not_ want anything crawling up inside you. And just a suggestion," she added. "Werewolves are _fantastic_ at cunnilingus."

Derek shifted his grip, cupping Stiles' ass as he said through gritted teeth, "We don't need help, Lydia."

Stiles squirmed, just to feel Derek's arms tighten around him. "The point of this is orgasms, dude."

"No. The point is _multiple_ orgasms. _Dudette_."

**Author's Note:**

> I also do the [tumblr](http://eeyore9990.tumblr.com).


End file.
